Book Review

This week I want to post what the central theme of H. Wallace Goddard’s book Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage is. This book has impacted me more than I ever imagined it would. It has the power within its pages to help us to become new creatures through encouraging us to rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Following Goddard’s counsel would be a blessing to us and to our marriages. Goddard said: “The natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite. We are to fix ourselves by repenting, and to love others.” Often we want to focus on the shortcomings of our spouse but this author suggests that the only way to help others to change is to accept and love them for who they are. As we love and accept our spouses, and show constant kindness to them, change naturally will happen; within us and them. Seeing the good only in our spouses isn’t always easy to do. Even last night (after reading on charity) I pointed out a flaw in my husband instead of showing compassion and love to him. He did not appreciate it and I felt terrible afterwards. I love this quote by Harry Emerson Fosdick that Goddard includes in his book several times: “Fill us with Thyself, that we may no longer be a burden to ourselves.”  I have so far to go… but by seeking every day to let the Savior Jesus Christ more in my life I can be filled with Him. He can help me become a better daughter of God and a better wife. President Benson said: “May we be convinced that Jesus is the Christ, choose to follow Him, be changed for Him, captained by Him, consumed in Him, and born again I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

Goddard’s message in this book is opposite what the world is saying. The world says to seek only for your own happiness and pleasure because no one else will if you don’t. But this approach is very flawed. Goddard said: “The modern dilemma is ironic. We are devoted to finding happiness-and we are seeking happiness in ways that guarantee emptiness.” What brings real happiness is turning our lives over to Christ and becoming new creatures. We have been given weaknesses in this life so we have to rely on Him. These weaknesses are very apparent in marriage. In fact, Goddard refers to marriage as “God’s Finishing School” where we are stretched and refined. So if our marriages are struggling (and obviously not all marriages can be saved, but...), instead of assuming divorce is our only answer, look to the Savior’s example. Love your spouse and see in them the Child of God that they are. Because, as Goddard stated, “the messages of research and the gospel are the same: We should enjoy and appreciate our partners. We should forgive them of their humanness. The single most promising marriage-fixing effort is not tinkering with our partners’ characters; it is in loving, cherishing, and appreciating them!”

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is human. Read it, you won’t regret it. Your marriage, like mine, will be strengthened as you try (and fail and try again) to apply the principles taught in it.

References

Goddard , H.W. (2007). Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage. Fairfax, VA: Meridian Publishing.