Covenant vs Contractual Marriage

There is a big difference between these two types of marriages. A contractual marriage can be broken off at any time if one or both spouses are unhappy or feel that the others spouse isn’t pulling their weight. A covenant marriage is in it for the long haul. It puts the needs of the other person before self. Contractual marriages see it as a 50/50 contract. Covenant marriages give all 100%, even if their spouse isn't doing the same. Bruce C. Hafen talked about these different types of marriage in his talk entitled Covenant Marriage. In it he also describes the 3 wolves of marriage that can kill and destroy. These wolves are: natural adversity, personal imperfections, and excessive individualism.

Trials will always come, pride and selfishness will always a battle, and the world may always scream that we should think of ourselves and our own happiness first. These wolves are alive and well and I have seen how they can affect a marriage, and even destroy it. Lives are forever hurt because of these wolves and many suffer, especially children. Dallin H. Oaks has pointed out that more often we should turn to the Savior and repent instead of turning to divorce. This takes humility, selflessness, and work. Are we praying for these Christ-like attributes?  

President Russel M. Nelson has said, “Each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concerted effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed if each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness.”

My husband is a great example of minimizing personal demands and maximizing loving and selfless actions. Often he gets home from work and immediately jumps in to help me with our kids or the housework, even though he’d probably love to relax after a stressful day. Another wonderful thing he does on Sunday mornings is let me sleep in. Our teenage kids usually keep us up late on the weekends but our younger kids still wake up early. My husband will get up and get breakfast going for the younger kids and will quietly close our bedroom door so I can keep sleeping. This small act of kindness always makes me feel loved. He is a great example to me and our children on the kind of spouse and person we can be. How grateful I am that we can battle the wolves in our lives together while striving to give our all to our covenant marriage and to be worthy of the Lord’s help through it all.